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Is there a specific song or band that makes you yearn for the past?

Journey. Need I say more?

Writer's Block: Captain Planet

If everyone had their own small planet to live on and care for (like in The Little Prince), what would your planet be like?

My planet... Peaceful. Beautiful and happy. Right now, our planet is full of hate, war, poverty and disease...just to name a few. But my planet would be the exact opposite. I guess you could compare it to what our assumptions of what heaven is like. Doesn't everyone want the perfect planet? Trees would regrow themselves and water would automatically replenish. Polution wouldn't exist and neither would hate. Death would be natural and not murderous for everyone. We would all take care of eachother on my planet. It would be friendly.

Writer's Block: Citizen of the universe

If you could choose to be born again as a citizen of any country in the world, which country would you choose, and why?

If I could be born, again, as a citizen of any country it would have to be one that my heritage comes from. I love being American and feel very lucky that I am so I love my country. But, I would pick Germany, Scotland or Ireland. Probably Ireland. I've always been interested in Ireland for some reason. Not that the other two wouldn't be great as well.

I want to travel and hope to get to visit all three, plus some. Maybe I will end up changing my mind in the future!!

Writer's Block: Paint the town green

Do you plan on celebrating St. Patrick's Day? If so, how? What memories and feelings do you associate with this holiday?

St. Patrick's Day.... It's over but I did not plan on celebrating and I didn't. I'm Irish but found no need to celebrate this year. Honestly, I have celebrated in the past but it was never to celebrate my heritage. It was just an excuse to get drunk and party all day. It's an American made holiday so celebrating my ancestors from Ireland really wasn't the purpose of the holiday. Oh well, it's a fun day. I don't even like the color green! I've had great times in the past going out and getting tanked, though. I always remember my BFF spilling her Shamrock shake on the floor of McDonald's and the wonderful crowded bars. Especially the Irish ones.

3 Wishes

If I were granted 3 wishes....

First, I would wish for money to be of no object for anyone, not just myself! If everyone had plenty of money there would be no poverty, hunger, theft/burglary or jealousy.

Second, I would wish for the world to be forever plentiful so it would stay beautiful and be able to support the now rich human life. There would be enough water, trees, animals for food and fruits and vegetables for food and anything else that is nature grown that we use to survive.

Third, that everyone worked together and lived as friendly neighbors so there would be no need for violence and crime or hate. Everyone would just live and exist with each other, no matter what race/ethnicity.

Spring/Summer 2010 list of to-do's...

I am so tired of winter! Not only that but I am up late every single night! The semester is coming to a close and I'm making a list of things that I want to do. Some things may happen sooner than others but hopefully I get to at least most of them!

1. Get in better shape... I signed up for the gym. I loved going to the one I used to go to until it took away the 24 hour status. I'm going to start going, again, very soon. Can't wait!

2. Getting out during the morning/afternoon... I work 2nd shift so I sleep late. I'm tired of sleeping in and not seeing much daylight because I have to work in a building where there are limited... extremely limited...windows. So, I have plans to start walking around the peninsula every couple of days or so with or without company.

3. Work on character lists for books... I really want to start writing, seriously. I want to research as much as I can about editors and publishing and writing styles. I need to find my own groove and stick with it. Picking what kind of story to write is tough, though! I love so many kinds of writing. CRIPES! And my brain is full of ideas.

4. Clean out my bedroom... Lets face it, it needs done. I lived on my own for 8 years and moving back to the parent's house 3-4 years ago was tough. I have too much stuff for a single person and don't have much room to move in my bedroom. Time to throw out the stuff I've forgotten about.

5. Save money! Okay, I probably won't save a whole lot of money in one season but something is better than nothing! I need to make a budget and stick to it. Savings account... here I come. 

6. Meet new people... I love meeting new people but haven't really had the opportunity to do much of that, lately. I feel that it's important to branch out a little bit, keep my options open as far as having choices of different people to hang out with. I love my friends but new people bring more difference to my life. 

7. See my family more. Last summer and even during the fall and winter, I didn't really see much of my family. Not just my parents, brother and niece and nephew. But, my grandparents, aunts, cousins and uncles. I've really lost touch with them. It would be nice to re-connect.

8. Manage my time better... Okay, time-management used to be one of my best attributes but that has gone out the window this past year and I don't really know why. I NEED IT BACK! There are only so many hours in a day and only about 12 hours...depending on the time of year...are daylight hours! So, I'm burning precious daylight doing nothing! What a waste of time!

9. I need to find something to believe in... I was raised to believe in God. But, for a long time I haven't believed the exact way I was taught. So, I'm working on that and comparing different religions, beliefs and spiritualities. It's mainly for stress management. Hopefully working out and the walks at the peninsula will help with that. The sun and outdoors is great for mood shifting.

10. Brush up on Spanish. I need to study, more. Again...time management!

That's about all I can come up with right now...I'm sure I will be back to add more later.

Please know...

Please know, my friend, that you are beautiful. No matter what you say about yourself, your smile is enough to make anyone's heart beat, again. Your eyes are kind and your voice is comforting. You've been through a lot, my friend, and you're weathered, tattered and torn. You're damaged to your core. Years of disappointment, tears and heartache is what you have to build your self-esteem upon but what you don't see is the importance of who you are. You have the ability to change lives. You have the compassion that could make anyone feel like they are worth more than Heaven and Earth. You're strong enough to hold the world on your shoulders if it needed you to hold it but you're soft enough to love with your entire heart everyone around you.  You take care of everyone you love and so many love you.

But, underneath all of the strength and love that you give to others is a woman who wants to feel loved and appreciated. You deserve it. You are amazing and you deserve to know it but will never believe it. Your glass is half empty and that's what brings you down. I wish that you could see the potential that I see. You're never too old to see what someone else see's.... even if it's within yourself. I think you've forgotten that you are a human being and are entitled to feel like one. I think that you need people around you who will let you be human. You do so much for others that you do nothing for yourself.

All I can say right now is thank you. Thank you for showing me your true colors and for allowing me to be a part of your life because without you, I don't know where I would be. You've opened my eyes to something so very important and I can't find the words to express how grateful I am. No matter where I go and where I end up, I will never forget the gift that was given to me through your friendship.

Writer's Block: It's me, not you

Ok, the question was "Have you ever broken off a relationship with a friend because it was bad for your self esteem?

Yes, I have. I absolutely love my friends and value my friendships with each of them. I would do anything for a close friend... which sometimes makes me vulnerable to feeling used and taken advantage of. I understand that that part is my own fault, but when I express it or bring it to a friends attention and they act like it's "bull" or not true, then, I tend to take offense to it.

I've had some very judgemental friends. There is nothing wrong with a friend having their own opinion. And you are free to disagree with theirs as they are free to disagree with yours. But, it tends to cross the line when that friend constantly complains about you and how you are as a person. I've had a close friend belittle me, talk about me behind my back and hurt me. I was left feeling so hurt and betrayed by this person that was constantly feeling bitter towards them. My problem is that I make excuses for why they treated me that way and actually allowed myself to believe that I deserved the bad treatment and wanted the friend to be the same kind of friend that I am. But, I got tired of feeling like a crappy person just because this particular friend doesn't understand what loyalty and honesty is in a friendship. I got sick of hearing how everything I did was wrong and that I was too this or too that. I got tired of being told how to act and pretty much when I could say what I needed to say. True friends do not stop talking to you, even if they are upset with you. True friends don't expect more than they give. True friends don't make you cry and not care that you're feelings are hurt. True friends don't take arguments and use them against you. 

Eventually I realized that the problems weren't mine. This person was my best friend so for a long time I believed that the problem was me. And she was okay with that. But, it was because of a new friendship and a couple of old ones that I realized that I am fine the way that I am. All of the things that this friend said were problems were the things that other friends were saying that they loved about me. 

I am still friends with this person but not as much as I used to be. I've distanced myself from that friendship because it's truly not worth me feeling bad about who I am. There are good things about her and in lots of ways she is a good person and I know that. She has done some really good things for me and that's why I haven't completely ended the friendship. But, she notices the difference. And she's aware that she doesn't have the upper hand. I will never give her that opportunity, again. And until she grows up and realizes what friends are, I will never be close with her like I was.